I think at the heart of my writing, is my love of the story. I am a storyteller at heart....after almost fifty years of self-examination and reflection, I believe that 'storyteller' is my 'true name'; the truth of who I am. It's why I love people so much and ask so many questions of them. I want to know their stories. It's why I love theatre and drama so much...the slice of life that tells the story of many people through the spoken word. It's why I love to travel...and have adventure; it's my desire to be part of the story. And it's why I write...to communicate the story in a permanent way, for prosperity, to be known.
I want to write a book.
It's such a ballsy thing to say.
I spent a half hour in Chapters today, sipping a frappe, reading a book on my iPhone reader, and I paused for a moment and I looked around...at. all. those. books. All those authors' dreams...passionate, dedicated, and likely not a little obsessed....and I thought to myself how could I even utter the word author and my name in the same breath. It is audacious.
I have written 'books' since I was seven. I would write the story and dialogue, illustrate them and staple bind the pages of looseleaf or yellow legal paper with a construction paper cover. I even created my own library, with cards in the back of each book that had sign out lines for a person's name and a date stamp. (Yes, I had a date stamp) I lent them out to friends. (They may have been coerced into 'borrowing') I've written short stories, poetry, instructional materials, travel/trip blogs, scripts both short and full length plays and blog posts...I write in some manner or form every day...and have for over forty years. But never a book....a novel....a lengthy involved story...plot, character, action.
But I have the bones of it now....come to me as a gift I believe. It's good. A strong story....a series of stories actually. Something I'm passionate about. I'm cautiously excited.....and very, very afraid; to tell anyone, to make the attempt, to make a very personal and costly investment in it. I have investigated, researched...and I have no stars in my eyes and dreams of grandeur. It's a large undertaking and I have no illusions. The odds are against it ever being published. But it's been brewing for six months...I jump in, I pull out. I tell myself it's nuts. And then I'm drawn back in. He's right there....I feel it. Niggling away at me to get at it.
I hear the call of Someone who I know loves me and has plans for me. I've been here before....tentative, unsure, feeling like a crazy person with a totally crazy idea, with people shaking their heads at me(or at least my perception of them doing that)...and feeling exhausted before the work has ever begun because I have an idea of the cost of following. But I know He won't leave me alone...so I guess I am in. It will mean changes in other parts of my life as well. Pretty big ones...ones I am not sure I am ready for. But I've been there before too.
So here I go.....
Psalm 118:13 MSG
I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.
Bravo, my friend. You've taken the first steps in a long journey. Get to know a community of writers who are 30-150 books into the successful label of author, in one of the most beautiful settings I have ever experienced. The Glen Eyrie writer's conference is top-notch equipping and support from those who have succeeded in this increasingly difficult field: http://www.gleneyrie.org/writers (It's in a castle).
ReplyDeleteIf you've not already done so, I also recommend reading (run, do not walk to buy this one) Steven Pressfield's book "The War of Art" and his blog on "What it Takes" (to be an author). Great information. http://www.stevenpressfield.com/
My prayers and support are with you.
Good for you! I found NANOWRIMO (www.nanowrimo.org)was excellent for pulling the story out of me. I just wish I'd taken the time to map it out first. 2 years later (with 2 months writing time invested), the novel is still growing. This year I will likely start a complete rewrite to fix the glaring issues. It's a learning process and one I have no doubt you will conquer!
ReplyDeleteGood luck and happy writing.
Cori :)
Thanks for the encouragement ladies. Joyce, I am sure you've posted Steven's blog url somewhere before because I've been there a few times over the past few months. He has some super helpful stuff. The Glen Eyrie conference looks wonderful, but won't happen this year for me. I have long looked at the Surrey International Writers' Conference www.siwc.ca and will try to attend that this year if my job allows.
ReplyDeleteThe big deal right now is paring down my life to provide the time for writing. That's my 'Resistance' as Pressfield calls it. But I am determined and so will start there.
Thanks again!