After the battle...

I feel like I've been in a war zone for the past six months...horrific battles, near misses, direct hits...nothing that has shaken the basic foundation, but there are minute scars everywhere; pinpricks of pain; shrapnel. Some of them are pretty big, not quite healed, but getting there...who am I kidding, most of them are not yet healed.

I am in a period of reflection...like I'm sitting on the dock watching deep dark clouds roll away and taking stock of the damage, wondering if I am still intact...not wanting to move from the chair...I shiver at the thought of the fight, but see through the clouds that the sun is there...none of it was in vain...





I wonder how veterans stand it....the memory of war...it must be the look in the faces of the loved ones around them, and despite the hurt and scars, there is a joy in the surviving...inexplicable...And in looking at the aftermath you can see the small victories....the sweet spots that the enemy didn't touch, that he can never touch. And there is evidence of your presence in the midst of the flurry...a word you spoke, a hug you gave, a tear offered in compassion, a wisdom that was needed...such small offering amidst the devastion of loss...loss of health, loss of relationship, loss of life, loss of hope...but it was something, some small thing and it might have meant something to just one, even only one...and it makes the battle worth it...every minute.

I love the stillnees of the lake water after the storm, the ray of the sun streaming through the cloud, the gentle drip of moisture from the the tree, the fresh crispness of the air....and I revel in that...it all seems so vivid and new and teaming with possibility....

I don't want another battle anytime soon but I'm sure there will be one...but in the meantime, I'm just going to sit in reflection as these storm clouds roll away and enjoy the sweet moments experienced in the midst of it all...while the wounds begin to heal...