The Joy Dare - Feb 16

Three gifts in the shadows...

There is a lot of mysteriousness and anxiety wrapped up in shadows....they can make people nervous. But for me, I love the shadows. There is an anonimity in them, and they make excellent vantage points for watching others (people watching is one of my favourite pasttimes. And on top of it all, I think there is little to fear in shadows...after all you need light to make them and if shadows make you nervous, step out of them and into the light.

1. I think we all live in the shadow of someone. In some area of our lives, we feel at least just a touch inadequate when measured against those that have gone before us. I am a pretty confident woman, and I find myself able to keep perspective on the roles I take in life...wife, secretary, youth sponsor, counselor, mentor, director, etc...but by far the role that makes me feel the most inadequate is mother. I look around me at some wonderful women that I know and I feel their superior efforts in motherhood overshadow mine....they seem so patient, and calm and kind and soft-spoken with their children....and I was not, am not, at least not all the time. I failed pretty miserably in some aspects. Then I look to my own mother, and as with most women, I think we see our mothers as pretty human, knowing they were not perfect and we were certainly in an intimate position to know that, not like outsiders looking in at her parenting. I look at my mom in the most forgiving way I can, knowing that while she was not perfect in her mothering, she loved me the best way she knew how. And with her gone now, I sorely miss her, in all her imperfections. So I will glad stand in the shadow of the love she gave me and be glad of it.

2. It was such a lovely day today...it's been a mild winter to be sure, but today the sun shone so brightly and there was definite warmth in it. So I took great pleasure in the shadow of me that it cast and took a few moments to bask in the warm promise of spring to come.

3. I am not a big fan of overhead lighting. I find the shadows strangely intimate and so when I am in a room in the evening I prefer an ambiant light to the harsh bright light. I had a night at home tonight, a rare occurrance and so I hid in the shadows in my den with a couple of candles on and a single 25w lamp on and read my book in comfort and obscurity, a little hidden from the world.