Wife, mother, writer, speaker, school secretary, people-lover, giving it all for the Lover of my Soul.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Urgency of Imminent Loss
Sunday, June 10, 2012
It's out there now....
So I've gone and done it again; made a decision by processing it out there and getting all kinds of feedback...reassurance I think, that I am on the right track.
I am making some sacrifices in obedience...not quite reluctant obedience, but somewhat fearful obedience to be sure. I have made the decision to step back from most of my youth ministries volunteering (which is considerable) come the fall, in order to protect some time for writing.
Most of my ministry partners seem somewhat relieved....I know they've appreciated me, but I think they've been worried for me; that I do too much, get too tired, endanger my health. It makes me roll my eyes. I love that they love me enough to be concerned, but seriously, I'm a fifty year old woman (almost) and I want to be around for a long time yet and I know my capabilities and limits more than they think I do. But moving on...
I have a great capacity to...do. Yes, just do...think, create, organize, plan and complete. My brain does not stop. I think if I did not have God to focus on I might have some serious mental health issues. My creative juices flow constantly and over multiple ideas at a time...it is constantly stimulated by people, my environment, my work, my relationships. God helps me focus these thoughts on what is good and right and under His will. And I have learned to be obedient to Him....most of the time. I am super relational. I care deeply....deeply....for people, all people...but especially young people. My compassion seems boundless and I know it is fostered by God not under my own power. I think without God's focus it would utterly overwhelm me. But I am obedient to it because that in a nutshell is my calling from Him. And from that calling ALL my ministry flows.
So while I am putting aside most relational ministry in the fall, aside from some youth drama, I am not putting aside my calling. I know God is calling me to write, but He is calling me to write to this generation that is beleaguered by hopelessness. And the story He has given to me is an allegory of His hope, peace, mercy, forgiveness, faithfulness, healing and salvation. Sounds like a heady project, eh? Pretty bold eh? Scares the crap out of me. Just seeing it in print here, makes me cringe with the audaciousness of it. I'm tempted to delete the last few sentences...but I won't. And it's not just the cowardice that makes me tremble, but writing is just a solitary pursuit...and I thrive on people. I am afraid I'll be distracted by my pursuit of people instead of Him. It will take more discipline than I have ever had, and if anything comes out of this for me, I think that is it. Discipline, seeking Him to meet my needs, relying on Him alone for my needs. I just know He's here, with me, right now, urging me on. So I will obey in the best of my ability and trust Him for the rest. I feel a little 'out there', hanging on by the tips of my fingers. But I have been there before.
And if you see me, six months from now, babbling to myself in a corner somewhere....it's because the characters in my writing have become more real to me than real people! ;o)
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I am a writer...
I think at the heart of my writing, is my love of the story. I am a storyteller at heart....after almost fifty years of self-examination and reflection, I believe that 'storyteller' is my 'true name'; the truth of who I am. It's why I love people so much and ask so many questions of them. I want to know their stories. It's why I love theatre and drama so much...the slice of life that tells the story of many people through the spoken word. It's why I love to travel...and have adventure; it's my desire to be part of the story. And it's why I write...to communicate the story in a permanent way, for prosperity, to be known.
I want to write a book.
It's such a ballsy thing to say.
I spent a half hour in Chapters today, sipping a frappe, reading a book on my iPhone reader, and I paused for a moment and I looked around...at. all. those. books. All those authors' dreams...passionate, dedicated, and likely not a little obsessed....and I thought to myself how could I even utter the word author and my name in the same breath. It is audacious.
I have written 'books' since I was seven. I would write the story and dialogue, illustrate them and staple bind the pages of looseleaf or yellow legal paper with a construction paper cover. I even created my own library, with cards in the back of each book that had sign out lines for a person's name and a date stamp. (Yes, I had a date stamp) I lent them out to friends. (They may have been coerced into 'borrowing') I've written short stories, poetry, instructional materials, travel/trip blogs, scripts both short and full length plays and blog posts...I write in some manner or form every day...and have for over forty years. But never a book....a novel....a lengthy involved story...plot, character, action.
But I have the bones of it now....come to me as a gift I believe. It's good. A strong story....a series of stories actually. Something I'm passionate about. I'm cautiously excited.....and very, very afraid; to tell anyone, to make the attempt, to make a very personal and costly investment in it. I have investigated, researched...and I have no stars in my eyes and dreams of grandeur. It's a large undertaking and I have no illusions. The odds are against it ever being published. But it's been brewing for six months...I jump in, I pull out. I tell myself it's nuts. And then I'm drawn back in. He's right there....I feel it. Niggling away at me to get at it.
I hear the call of Someone who I know loves me and has plans for me. I've been here before....tentative, unsure, feeling like a crazy person with a totally crazy idea, with people shaking their heads at me(or at least my perception of them doing that)...and feeling exhausted before the work has ever begun because I have an idea of the cost of following. But I know He won't leave me alone...so I guess I am in. It will mean changes in other parts of my life as well. Pretty big ones...ones I am not sure I am ready for. But I've been there before too.
So here I go.....
Psalm 118:13 MSG
I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
No Greater Love
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 27
I don't call much ugly...except evil and there is no beauty in that, except that perhaps evil gives the juxtaposition to show true beauty in all it's glory...so okay, evil has it's uses, it shows beauty off, but isn't beautiful itself. That aside, here is my beauty of the day.
I started Lent-ing today. Yes, I know traditional Lent begins on Ash Wednesday...46 days before Easter Sunday. In the Catholic tradition, it's forty days of sacrificial fast in preparation for Easter, but they take the six Sundays as mini Easters and give themselves a reprieve from their fast. I dunno...it just seems like cheating to me. So I always 'Lent' from either Ash Wednesday straight through to Palm Sunday, a week before Easter or start 40 days before Easter, which I'm doing this year. I am giving up spending and white and refined...no, I am not becoming a member of the proletariat, just giving up the white foods that plague my belly and hips and which I love to eat. The spending is another thing entirely. Truthfully eating and spending money are truly my toughest temptations. So I am not spending any money except on gas, groceries, personal grooming stuff (nails, haircut, shampoo, etc) and my monthly bills. No eating out (that's a biggie), no going out to movies, no buying clothes...It will be a good practice. So where's the beauty in the ugly? The ugly is my human nature that groans at the thought of giving up anything that I desire. The beauty is in the choice to sacrifice my desire to His will. While it is truthfully very little I am giving up, I figure if Jesus can stand forty days in the desert without eating and the devil hounding Him, certainly I can do this little thing for His sake, and to His glory. That's the beauty in it.
I'm the school secretary. Everyone sends the sick kids to the office. There's a bug going around and in the last two days we've sent home no less than 25 kids with the stomach flu. We should have a revolving door into the office. And there's a sickly smell permeating the sick room. Ugh....or ugly. But in it, I get to comfort these poor little darlings, get them some cold cloths for their heads, a hot water bottle for their tummy, or a sip of water...and I call their mommy to come and get them. It's a responsibility I truthfully treasure...I do adore them.
I was part of a course today...'Building Trust Under Pressure'. Some of the situations shared around the table were pretty ugly. The beauty in it though was the support and encouragement around the table. In being able to share with objective people, while learning new skills to approach difficult problems, I think some of the people at least were finally able to see the good that could come out of the situations. Hope is a beautiful gift.
There is almost always a little beauty in an ugly situation or thing....isn't that piggy so cute?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 24-26
Well, I have had a busy few days, leaving me entirely tired at the end of the days, so posting did not happen...that doesn't mean I haven't been noticing the gifts. So I'll mix up the gifts and the days and run them all together...which will pretty much reflect how the last three days have been for me...
Three gifts before 11am
A gift nearly worn out, a gift new, A gift made-do
Three gifts seen as reflections
Ideally I would like to see nothing save the inside of the book I'm currently reading, with a coffee in hand, dressed in my jammies before 11 am ...buuuuutt, that definitely didn't happen this weekend. However before 11am some lovely things happened...I had the opportunity on Friday to be a judge at our school's science fair. I know you know that I love young people, and to come to them, shake their hand, ask them questions about the things they've learned, what they concluded, whether they were wrong or right in their hypothesis, and how long it took them to make their display just made my day. It took only a few moments, but I gave them some encouragement, smiled, congratulated them on their work. They were so proud and pleased to share. And so they should have been. Saturday before 11am I shared a breakfast with a dear young woman whom I love, home for reading week from university and hear her heart on a number of things and just enjoy her company. I was up this snowy, blustery Sunday morning and on to church to share some hard truths with grade 5/6 boys and girls about bullying. They were intent, engaged and I think they heard that God understands and that forgiveness is the key. Who knew I could be gifted that early in the day.
I got some lovely new pillows on Friday, and new pillow cases and I tell you, I had the best sleep I'd had in a month or so. I got into bed that night, sunk my head onto that pillow and sighed the deep, deep sigh. Lovely! Well, I don't know if it's nearly worn out, but it's certainly worn in...I love our little den on our top floor. It was the best idea to turn a bedroom into a mini sanctuary...and in it is my recliner, perfectly formed to my form and the place I am most relaxed, aside from bed, in our home. One of my best creative talents I think is opening the fridge door, checking the contents and putting together a meal in a make do way...today, while I had a plan, I got home at 4:30 after a long day and in an hour and a half, put together a ham, creamed potatoes and onions, corn and beans and home-made rolls dinner for 10.
Mirrors are not something I truly like looking into, I am not fond of my reflection, but on Friday I went for a regular appointment for a nail fill and eyebrow wax. I must say I really like looking at my eyebrow when they are professionally groomed. I had never been one to pay much attention to fashion or make up or fine personal grooming when I was younger. I never felt worth it. Part of loving God is knowing I am worth Him loving, and so I have worth and beauty in His eyes, and it's okay to do things that help me take pleasure in my appearance. Today in my rear view mirror, while sitting in my car in a parking lot, I saw a dear young man, brushing snow off my car. This is just one of the things he does to bring joy to my life. He is a gift beyond measure to my life. This week the theme on a photography group I belong to on Facebook was reflections...some lovely photos were posted showing beauty, and whimsy and humour and all of them were a gift to me...from talent and vision.
Whew...so many gifts....so little time. It is necessary though to take the moment to acknowledge them.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 23
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 22
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 21
Monday, February 20, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 20
1. I've had a lovely slow day today...it was a holiday...family day. But we had all the kids plus the niece for brunch yesterday, so that marked our celebration. And today I had just a puttering around kind of day today. I made breakfast for my honey today... a nice veggie omelet with cheese. And we shared some companionable silence in the sunshine munching away, him with the paper, me with some writing I was doing. He ate up, smiled at me, thanked me, kissed me and headed out to his garage to fix his $#%^&* truck that was messed up again. But it was a great moment, speaking of a general contentment and a lack of pressing obligation. That is few and far between in our busy days.
2. I had some crackers and tuna at lunch and I was writing some emails, checking FB, and a conversation popped up with a dear young man I'm involved with in ministry. The gift here is that he is leading a mission trip to Spain in the summer with some high school students, and we've been in conversation about whether I should come with them. He was in need of female leaders and while I am leading another trip for youth leaders in August, the timing for this trip worked out well (I don't work July & August)... so he said yes, he'd like to have me along. I got a little shot of pleasure, it felt just right, like the planets aligned. It will be a busy spring, but I LOVE taking young people on these trips and watching how God changes their lives.
3. I had KFC for dinner at 8pm, ugh, I eat it about once a year to remind me why I don't eat it the rest of the year. It always tastes good at the time and then sludges through my system later. I'm watching on DVD a great BBC production of North and South...I am a staunch fan of classic literature and no-one does a better job producing Dickens, Austen, Bronte and in this instance Gaskell to the small screen like BBC. It is just a joy to have the time to sit for four hours (with sludge in my veins) and watch an awesome story on the screen. It's been a lovely day...
I did have a bath today, but I'm still in my jammies....beauty. :)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 19
Very, very few plans in my life have come out exactly like I thought they would. Almost always there was a switch somewhere and the direction had to be changed. Life rarely turns out the way you think it will.
1. My plan A for life was to never have children...when I was 18 anyway. Now young people fill my life and have for a long time. I had three children in five years, I volunteered at their playschool and dance studion, I had a day home for 8 years with up to five extra children in my home daily, at one point I operated a private lunch program with 30 grade school children on my own, then became a lead lunch supervisor and the number grew to 190 with three other ladies. I volunteer with junior high in drama, have taken youth on trips around the world and shared that with my own children, I teach them, mentor them, feed them, love them, encourage them, pray for them....it is the joy and the ministry of my life. Um, pretty spectacular plan B.
2. My plan A for my first daughter in her pre-teen years, was this slow blossoming into womanhood where her and I would share everything...instead she hit puberty like a brick wall and ended up knee deep in anxiety and severe depresession. It was five years of hell...but in the midst of it my dependance on God became absolute...my surrender complete...my understanding of His love, mercy, grace and most especially peace overwhelmed me. If I had not traveled through the mire with my dear girl, I would not be the same woman I am today...and I like me the way I am...I don't resent it. It was a difficult but educational plan B.
3. I prayed for 20 + years for my parents to accept Christ...my plan A was to invite them to all the events, have faith conversations with them and they would have an epiphany in church one day and come to faith. I did the first things, but instead my mom got cancer. She got scared...and she came to faith, and it gave her peace until she died six months later. My dad remarried three years later...It was so difficult for me and not my plan A for him, but he married a woman who is a regular church goer...a good Christian church...and my dad goes with her...and we have spiritual conversations now. Not something I would ever thought would happen. I believe God worked and is working in my parents' lives. Would this have been the way I wanted it to happen? No, but I trust God (see #2) and I see Him at work. And I know where my mom is now...that's a good plan B.
Not all Plan B's work out so well, but I've learned to roll with the punches and the gentle maneuvering...and work with what God gives me. It's never bad to have a plan, but I've learned to hold them loosely, and be ready to give them up to another direction.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 18
1. I pulled out my passport today. We had a meeting today for a mission trip I am leading and we needed to check our passport to make sure it doesn't expire before a certain date. I was looking through it and was so grateful for all the places I've traveled, the things I've seen, and mostly the people I've met....And also, so very, very blessed and fortunate for the country I live in, for the freedom and affluence we experience here, AND for the way Canadians are received all over the world. Wow, I am a very blessed and fortunate woman.
2. I was perusing the bulletin at our church service tonight and looking at all the events and ministries that make up our church family....I was a little overwhelmed. I have never attended or been a part of another church, but I have attended other churches' services and spoken to many people who attend other churches. While our church, and I mean the church leadership not the building, is far from perfect and does not please everyone, I can see their heart is to do the will of God....to encourage the body to first love Him, to worship Him with our whole lives, to show us our giftings and then give us places to use them to serve, to love others as Jesus would... we have a long way to go to love like Jesus, but we are on the road and I am glad to be in a time and place and in a church family that is pursuing love and ministry.
3. I've been putting thoughts to paper lately, using my creative juices on a project that might just go somewhere...or nowhere at all. It looks pretty...I bought some new markers and pens and pencils and a sketch book... no, I have not turned into an artist, not the drawing kind...it's sort of a story map, character sketches, plot lines, scene settings....a lot of jumbled ideas right now but I've been cautiously excited if that makes sense. But as I was jotting some ideas down today, I decided to embrace it fully and not restrain the ideas because it might be just foolish dreaming. I am using a God-given gift of creative story-telling...and He IS in the process, I can feel His presence...so I won't get caught up in the what-if and just enjoy the process whether it is just solely for my benefit or an audience of One, or of many. I decided the gift was the joy He is giving me in it....and I'll take it graciously.
Sometimes paper is worth whatever is on it, regardless of the tree cost.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 17
Did I sacrifice much today to giving and serving? I don't think so...I went into work which was blissfully empty of teachers and students due to convention and so I did get a lot of work done...thankless stuff like filing and organizing and cleaning...and maybe that could be considered serving, but I don't think it counts for much if you're getting paid to do it. I did some organizing and scheduling for a mission trip I am leading...sending an email with forms, and setting up a calendar...I was a little tired and thinking I would rathering just be sitting and reading my book or taking a nap...so if I served at all it was with obedience to a commitment and not from a genuine heart...hmmm, does that count. And I took a young friend out for dinner and a movie and had a great conversation, but I got to eat and see a movie I wanted to see, so that I suppose is not much of a sacrifice. I am not sure I can find the gifts in serving and giving if I did so selfishly today....and I am not sure I should even get gifted from it.
Can you tell I am in a bit of a mood tonight?
I tweeted (yes, I do that) earlier this evening...'So my plate is large and has many things on it. So? So? #lovinglife #neverbored #getoverit #multitasker' because I got a bit of flack from someone who was giving me the verbal eye roll over what I do in a day. Would you like to see my plate right now...junior high drama skits, leading one, possibly two mission teams, mentoring some sixteen young women in youth leadership, directing dinner theatre, teaching in junior high, work full time, love on my husband, spend time with my kids, etc....Well, sometimes I do it all grudgingly...but I still know, I just KNOW that I'm supposed to...and sometimes the gift in it is just that, OBEDIENCE. But mostly I just love, just LOVE all the things I do, not because they're easy, but because they take sacrifice...I'm not a matyr, but what I do, does matter, and gives me PURPOSE...and those are the gifts in it; obedience, love, purpose, just the knowing...okay that's more than three and there's likely more, and I receive them EVERY DAY from serving and giving...whether I get paid for it, or doing it begrudgingly, or receiving benefit from it, it's just right to do even if I am wrong in the way I do it.
Okay, I'm done now....bah, try not to judge me.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 16
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 15
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 14
You're kidding me right? There are few things I know for certain in this world and the one I am most assured of, that I know beyond my own capability of understanding, is that God loves me. I could find a hundred ways in a minute to tell you of that love, but I'll pick three that I felt today.
1. His word is a constant balm to my soul, soothing daily, wiping away fear and sorrow, giving encouragement. Today I made a decision to follow His Spirit's prompting and in the middle of revealing it to a pertinant other I was told my decision was an answer to prayer. Romans 8:28 has come across my path a number of times today...not from in my head but outside sources...'All things work together for the good of those who love him and are called to his purpose.' It was His reminder that He is in the midst of my decision and will work it out...once again soothing, calming, enlightening. His Word shows He loves me.
2. He lets me do what I love, or love what I do...I am not sure which came first, the doing or the loving but it hardly matters. Today over texting, I had a young woman approach me for counsel and I was able to help her with an issue and provide a couple of solutions and to give her some encouragement and love. It's such a joy to do that. There's a saying out there...'God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called'. I know I am called...He gives my life purpose and in that He shows me love.
3. The taste of food, not just food itself, but it's taste is proof-positive that God loves us. Food is fuel for our bodies, it could have been that we would just mindly ingest it and keep on going, but no, God gave us tastebuds and then flavours that give us pleasure. I shared a lovely meal with my honey tonight, that he made for us and it tasted so divine. Really what other purpose does the taste of food have but to give pleasure to us whom He loves?
I feel His love every day, in a hundred ways...these are just a few of today's joy.
The Joy Dare - Feb 13
Well mostly I find dust bunnies behind my doors and I am not overly grateful for them. However I do have a number of doors in my life, both literal and figurative and the people and things I find behind them are a mixed blessing. Some I am mightly glad to open, like my front door at the end of a difficult work day, and some that are more difficult to walk through, like the doors in my mind locked shut against the true motives for some of my actions...I like those things to stay behind those doors. But the joy of the dare, is to find the gifts and so I have.
1. I spent most of my afternoon at work opening and closing the blasted doors of the blasted photocopier trying to find the blasted little bit of a piece of paper that was jamming it up and feeling mighty frustrated, which may have compounded by the line up of teachers needing their stuff copied. There was not a lot of joy behind these doors, until I opened the one where I had success at finding the offending paper bit. Oh, the joy to have succeeded at the quest and having powered the beast up again. It's a bit of an allegory here...we sometimes have to persevere with the doors in our lives, opening up a lot of duds before we find what we looking for, or at least what we need. But there is such relief in the eventual success of doggedness.
2. My boss has been holding 'fireside chats' these last few days. It's just a way for him to find out what is going on with his staff, their successes and frustrations in the current year, their intentions for the coming year. I spend a short 1/2 hour in conversation with him in conversation, and he's only been my boss since November. But man, I am loving my job, the new duties, the satisfaction of doing good work, helping people...and I told him so. And then he gave me some lovely complements on my work and demeanor and how 'I care for people'. It actually brought a lump to my throat...because at the heart of who I am is a lover of people and most of the time, I just love them because I know God loves me, and so I love them for Him. But it's kinda nice to have someone notice it in me and thank me for it. I don't 'need' it, I'd do it anyway without the thanks, but it's nice to hear it sometimes. An unexpected gift.
3. Behind the door of our rehearsal hall at church tonight we held dinner theatre auditions. Can I just say that theatre hums in my blood? It is just an integral part of my make up...how I'm wired. Behind this door, a three and half month process began that gives me a chance to bring together as a director a community of like-minded people to bring to the stage , in this case a brilliant comedy, to draw others to a church, some for the first time to darken its doorstep and so begin a step towards a different eternity. How like God is that...that He would wire and gift us in a specific way, give us an opportunity to use the gifting in a way that totally floats our boat and builds a tight-knit community, and gives it an eternal purpose to bring good and glory to His name? That is THEE best gift.
Just open the doors...
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 12
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 11
The Joy Dare - Feb 10
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 9
The Joy Dare - Feb 8
Hmmmm, she said. I am not a very thrifty person (I am afraid I am a spender by nature). I do like a good deal, and I am not adverse to the VV Boutique(or Value Village, the local second hand place). And while I do not neccessarily work well with my hands, I am a fixer of situations by nature, a caretaker...or a taker -carer of things, if that makes sense. I am not good at letting others fix things for me. But broken things, broken people, oooooo, they pierce my heart and they are a gift of the utmost preciousness.
1. A gift broken....a young woman gave her testimony at youth...it was a tough one...from a broken life. But like many young broken people when God gets a hold of their hearts, her story is a gift of His graciousness and love. She is not fixed, her story is not over (none of ours are) but the story of her pain, her broken family, her grief, shows how God through His love and the love of His people that He put around this young woman, can sustain us through our brokendness. Her story held us spellbound through it all. It was a gift.
2. A gift fixed....I may be taking some liberties with the meaning of the word fixed in this case....but.... I met with another young woman today, and hers was a story of being built up by God over the past year. She shared her story with me over an interview for a spot on a missions team I am putting together. I've known her for just a few months, but her nature and her faith and her buoyancy spoke to me...and now she is fixed on our missions team. It is a gift to have her...to know I'll get to spend more time getting to know her and sharing with her a cross-cultural experience that will change her life. That is a gift.
3. A gift thrifted....well, I am not sure if this count for this one, but let's see...I got a letter in the mail today from my son's insurance company. He had a very serious car accident last April, and as a result of the claim he submitted, the agent told him to continue to pay his premiums until the claim was settled and they would call and let him know. Well, we've been paying for ten months and the last four months I've been badgering him to call and figure out what's going on and cancel the policy (you know, trying to get him to take responsibility...ugh, painful). He finally did and we got a notice that they would backdate the cancellation to the date of the accident...10 months ago. So we'll get 10 months of premiums reimbursed to us...so we thrifted some dough away, even though we thought it was throwing money away. A nice little gift to be sure!!
There is a gift in everything...the broken, in the fixing, and in the thrifting away of things....
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 7
Red is indeed my favourite colour...I see it everywhere and appreciate most everywhere I see it...a sunrise or sunset, in food, in nature, in clothing, a blush on the cheek, a blush rose, in a fire's flame. It's a vibrant colour and it speaks life and health...mostly. There are those times when blood red makes us cringe, or cry, or mourn as we it in death...some associate it with the devil...and so we can fear it.
This is as deep as it's going to get for this one as my red gifts were pretty temporal today but they made my heart smile as I thought of them.
1. I am not really a vain person, but oh, how I adore having long red nails. They make me feel pretty and girlie and like I can take on the world...and they are a selfish thing just for me. They make me feel a little guilty sometimes but then I look at them for a while and that feeling goes away. I think its a little thing that gives me such great pleasure.
2. Yes, I drive a station wagon, not the most luxurious of cars...okay, it's all practicality and little luxury (mine has a sun roof and climate control people....AND... a third fold down seat in the back, people pay big money to ride in the back hatch of my wagon), but my wagon is red...it's a happy wagon. I think of all the kids I have driven places in that car, the laughter that has filled it, the tears I've cried in it, with others and on my own. Lord, we spend so much time in our vehicles in this country, I am so grateful for all I have been able to do, and places I've gone, and things and people I've carried in that wagon. And people see me coming, and they know me by it, and they start waving even before they see I'm driving it. It's the Schmidt wagon (careful how you say that). It's a gift.
3. Lord, I love my son and I'm proud of him. No he's not red, except when he blushes and then he's so cute. We went out with friends tonight to the Highwood restaurant at SAIT where my son is taking Professional Cooking. The three week module he's in right now is Dinner Service and so he was in the kitchen tonight, cooking for our meal service, a delightful five course meal...there were red tomatoes and bacon in the Mussels in Saffron Creme, there were some red spices in the butternut squash soup, there were red tomatoes in my deconstructed Cobb salad (which was my son's station tonight), my strip loin was a red medium rare, and the dessert...ooo, a chocolate trio, with red raspberries on the the chocolate brioche, and in the red velvet mousse...that's to say nothing of the red wine. It was an expensive meal, but such a lovely gift made all the more sweet knowing my son partook in it's preparation, training in something he loves so passionately. Oh that we could all have that gift.
Well, maybe a little more depth than I thought....I am such a blessed woman. Such gifts I've been given.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 6
Three gifts found outside
I was feeling pretty lousy today. I stayed home from work and as a result barely stuck my nose outside at all today....but I could see it and it was a lovely day...
So my three gifts today are all in one lovely moment. There had been a light dusting of snow in the early morning, so everything looked fresh. My son came begging for a ride to the train station and I resisted but gave in....and I was glad I did. I walked out the door to start the car and inhaled that fresh new-fallen snow smell...it's crisp, and it hadn't snowed in a while so there was this musky under-odor...it smelled like spring to me. The sun was so bright and I could actually feel it's warmth, which usually doesn't happen until the end of April at least. Then there was this area of pretty untouched smooth snow, and the sun sparkled diamonds off of it. The moment took barely 30 seconds but it stayed with me all day and made me smile everytime I thought about it.
There must be three gifts in there somewhere...
Sunday, February 5, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 5
1. I have a lot of clothes. And while it may sound a bit trite and selfish, I really love my clothes...that I can afford them (mostly, I do have a lot of them), that they make me feel good about how I look....and I have much gratitude for those clothes. I have seen too many in poverty to know how fortunate I am, and to know that just because I have them, doesn't mean I don't have poverty of spirit.
2. I have a lovely cedar bench/swing in the back yard. I was only outside for about 15 mins today in the +5C sunshine, but it was so nice to sit and swing and feel the promise of spring.
3. There's nothing like a sweet blankie to curl up with on a Sunday evening...I am wrapped in a pretty one right now, relaxing with my peppermint tea and my honey...and the Simpson??? :P
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 4
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Joy Dare - Feb 3
I am a writer by nature and by nature too, a communicator. I find gifts in words all the time, daily even. Words are just words until they are strung together, one after another until the lyrical forms and becomes poetry and song, and prose and story and dialogue and sweet heaven to my eyes and ears and heart.
1. '' To see a World in a Grain of Sand And Heaven in a Wild Flower,Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour...''-William Blake (A FB post)
2. I had intended on calling you and thanking you for your sincere compassion this morning.
I really do appreciate your concern and your prayers. Your email brought tears to my eyes-the good ones ;) and I can not thank you enough for your kind words and blessings. (email from a co-worker whom I had sent a word of encouragement to)
3. I am in a period of reflection...like I'm sitting on the dock watching deep dark clouds roll away and taking stock of the damage, wondering if I am still intact...not wanting to move from the chair...I shiver at the thought of the fight, but see through the clouds that the sun is there...none of it was in vain... (from my own blog writing a few months ago)
All written word has value of some kind...to explain, to bring knowledge, understanding, to inform good and bad. The words of the heart, though describing self, and others, and humanity and relationship, those are the true gifts....The Bible brings such great wisdom, and love, and revelation....I could write out a thousand gifts from it each day, but instead I write them on my heart.